My Advocate | Sunday Reflections 01

Dear readers,

Lately I've been reflecting a lot on life, blogging, and what I'm putting my energy into. That's not to say that I'm entirely dissatisfied with my efforts, but I've felt a pressing need for improvement. God is tugging at my heart strings, urging me in a different direction. A better direction. Earlier this year I made some New Year's resolutions. Now that over half the year has come and gone, I'm left evaluating myself and my progress (or lack thereof). I ran a 5k... and that's about it. While I'm not down playing this feat (because believe me, for me that was a pretty exciting accomplishment) one resolution that I haven't lived up to-- the one that really matters-- was to increase in spirituality. I haven't done that. I feel like I've been pretty stagnant. I have been going through the motions, but I haven't truly invested my heart. I've been so busy distracting myself with other things that my relationship with God, while still there, has become more of an after thought. It pains me to say it, but I suppose sometimes the truth hurts... and it also sets you free. Admittedly, my prayers have become repetitious, my scripture study-lackluster. I attend church functions and meetings, but my thoughts are elsewhere. I have been doing just enough to get by... It's not enough.

I want to rededicate myself to God. Accordingly, I want to rededicate this blog to Him. Blogging is a reflection of me and what I'm focusing on. I feel like I've been doing good things with this space-- sharing modest fashion, writing about my family and essentially journaling about Klair, etc. I want to continue doing these things, but I can be should be doing more. I don't want to simply imply my beliefs. Instead, I want this to be a place where I can proclaim them.

I've decided to start with a new series of posts on Sundays to discuss my recent spiritual reflections and ponderings. Hopefully having a space to write will keep me accountable and help me to focus my attention where it counts. When you put God first, everything else falls into place. I know this. Now, I'm determined to live it. And, I'm hopeful that my attempts will help or inspire others in some way.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormon church) of which I am a member, we have a program called visiting teaching. Every willing woman is given an assignment from the Relief Society President (the leader of the church's organization for women) to teach and fellowship certain women in the ward (our local congregations). Any member of Relief Society can be a visiting teacher (all are encouraged) and every woman in the ward is given a pair of visiting teachers that are assigned to her. This inspired program enables the Relief Society President to watch over every woman and to stay informed on what is taking place in her life. Furthermore, it serves as another medium through which friendships are made, and our ward families are strengthened.

This last week, my partner and I (we are assigned a companion) went visiting teaching. We have worked out a system where we take turns making the appointments and teaching the lessons. This month was my turn to teach. It was entitled: Jesus Christ, Advocate with the Father. I thought to myself, "yeah, I know enough about this topic. I've learned it before. I'll just skim through, find a few nice quotes and improv my way through a quick little lesson. Easy." Once I began, skimming turned to reading, and then reading turned to reading. I had gone into the experience trying to discern what to teach to others, but quickly realized that I was the one learning the lesson. Isn't it interesting how that happens? Whenever I am asked to teach a lesson or speak in church, I always find that I learn more from the experience than I'm able to convey to others. This message was one that I needed to hear.

As I read, I found one quote particularly poignant. Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “It is of great significance to me, that I may at any moment and in any circumstance approach through prayer the throne of grace, that my Heavenly Father will hear my petition, that my Advocate, him who did no sin, whose blood was shed, will plead my cause.”

Christ, my advocate, pleads for me. Now. Today. And tomorrow... and any time I approach his throne of grace and plead for His healing. I tend to view the atonement as something that happened thousands of years ago. He suffered, bled, and died--in the past. Correct? Technically. But Christ's atonement--his marvelous work and glory--wasn't a one time thing. After his resurrection he didn't ascend into heaven to lounge around and be pampered by the angels. Although he deserves this and much more, he continued working. He is still working. His grace, love, petitions and forgiveness are ongoing. They are eternal. He is actively engaged in my salvation. He is continually pursuing me. His hand is "outstretched still"--to me, to all of us.  

As this epiphany lighted upon my mind and filled me with gratitude, it also ignited within me a desire to do better--to be at least a little more deserving of His perfect love unfeigned. 

The Gospel of Jesus Christ has brought more joy into my life than I'm capable of expressing, and it would be selfish of me not to share that with others. This world is frankly crazy. Often frightening. It can be hard to avoid feeling bogged down by all of the hatred and despair that surrounds us. But, darkness gives way to light. And it is my hope and prayer that this little a corner of the internet can be a place where God's love can shine through and chase away the darkness.

Sincerely yours,