The Best 5 Years

5 years ago today was one of the most beautiful, spiritual, and incredible days of my life. I was married to my husband for all of time and for the vast, incomprehensible span of eternity in the Salt Lake Temple. My best friend became my husband, and on that day we promised to devote our lives and very existence to one another. Thank the heavens I chose so well. Literally, I thank God every day. I know he led me to Sam, and this love has been the best gift I've ever received.

Although our wedding day was special--surreal and sweet in every sense of the word, I'm not sure I understood the implications of what was taking place. Star-eyed and twitter-pated beyond belief I couldn't foresee the true meaning of two people promising complete loyalty and fidelity to one another before God himself. I'm sure I still don't, because the promises made and blessings to come are beyond my capacity to understand--but I've learned a thing or two about marriage in the past half decade. It can be hard. Well, loving Sam is easy, but life gets hard. It's often messy and complicated and can be a huge distraction when you allow it to be-- currents pulling you apart, sometimes subtly drifting and other times more forcefully dragging. In times like these it takes extra effort to reunite, but it's always worth it. Coming together, finding each other again and again--it's always exactly what we need. He is my strength, and my light.

Take today for instance. I always imagined that our 5th anniversary would include romantic gestures of the common variety: flowers, a date night, long and loving gazes across a candlelit table... yet, I find myself in my pajamas. We just got home from our Disneyland trip and we're all sick. It's not exactly what I would plan for an occasion such as this, but I'm okay with it. Instead of flowers, our romantic gestures include taking turns caring for each other and our daughter. Right now Sam is cuddled up with Klair, and our long, loving gazes are replaced with an occasional glance and reassuring smile. We can celebrate later. Right now, we're in survival mode--but we're in it together, and that's more wonderful than any flower. In the past five years we've been up and down, sideways and completely turned over at times on this roller coaster, but through it all we've been side by side.

FIVE years. It's a pretty significant amount of my life so far--1/5 to be exact. 2 tiny apartments, 1 ancient rental, 2 beautiful houses, too many college courses to count, 2 pets, several jobs, 1 perfect daughter and a son on the way-- we have been blessed beyond belief. Yet, our time spent thus far is nothing more than a tiny blip on the spectrum of eternity. We literally have forever together. And while the thought makes my brain hurt if I think about it too long, it's a comfort to know that I will always have Sam by my side. Come what may, I know he is mine and I am his. And, we are both God's. This knowledge is enough to help me weather any storm. It gives a deeper meaning and heightened appreciation for most beautiful moments past, present, and yet to come.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Samuel, you are the love of my existence. I thank God daily for the love that we have. I owe every good thing in my life to the decision I made to marry you!

Although I'm not happy about the sickness ravaging our household, I honestly have no room for anything but gratitude in my heart today. I am blessed beyond belief.

Seriously. As I was looking through photos trying to find a good one of the two of us, I found this gem. What guy does a green face mask with his wife and then agrees to a silly-faced selfie to post on Facebook?  A very special one indeed.

Autumn + Sam = Forever | Our Engagement Story

(some engagement photos--we were so young!)

I love a good chick flick. There's nothing better than curling up on the couch and getting lost in romantic, cinematic stories... with chocolate. Of course. That goes without saying. I don't care if they're predictable, or even a little cheesy, I love them all the same. You know it's a good romantic movie if it makes you swoon, and your heart flutter ever so slightly. 

My love story with Sam definitely makes me swoon. And butterflies? A whole meadow full, the kind that would make the ultimate setting for a cheesy, classic chick flick moment. 

On this very day 5 years ago, Sam surprised me. He took a knee, and asked me to be his-- forever. And, on that fateful, beautiful, most wondrous of days--I said yes. This response shaped, and continues to shape my life dramatically.  I was young, but thankfully I had enough wisdom in me to recognize that that boy needed to be snatched up. I'm beyond grateful that I answered in the affirmative to his request.

I'll tell you the details of the proposal itself. But, first, some history: 

In the beginning, there was Sunday School. You see, Sam and I grew up in the same ward (Mormon congregation). When I was 12 and he 13, our ward boundaries were reshaped (due to an ever increasing population in our little town that was quickly becoming a suburb in its own right) and Sam and I met. We actually went to the same elementary, and we had most of the same teachers (he was just a year older) so it's highly likely that we crossed paths on the playground, but neither of us remember any such meeting. Thus, we consider our beginnings at church.

He was older (i.e. too cool)  to notice me at the time, but my first memory of him was sitting in Sunday school. I remember the teacher asking a question, to which he offered an intelligent, insightful reply. I thought, "he's cute, and smart!" And, from that moment on, he became "Saaam Duke" (with a sigh for emphasis). I actually have diary entries that talk about him.  

It wasn't until high school that I finally captured his attention. In Utah we start high school our Sophomore year, so I was 16. Sam was in a band with some mutual friends. He played the guitar. This took him from "Saaam Duke" to "SAAAM DUKE!" (double sigh). I remember him passing my best friend and me in the hall and waving to us. I was so giddy that he noticed me that I practically ran into my locker.

Later Sophomore year, his buddy invited my friends and I to a stake dance held at a local church building (a "stake" is a Mormon organizational term--a group of wards makes up a stake). That night Sam asked me to dance... FOUR times! He monopolized my time, and I couldn't have been happier. Additionally, when we were all standing outside after the dance in the cold January air, he offered me his jacket. Always the gentleman. I of course accepted and relished the moment. I was on cloud 9. 

After this fateful night when our "like" for each other became apparent, we spent a lot of time hanging out with mutual friends. Then, I asked him to be my date for the Sweethearts dance (a girls preference high school affair). He accepted. We continued to go on dates after this, and kissed for the first time right after his 17th birthday.  Next, he asked me to prom. The next day he asked me to be his girlfriend... through text. I love to remind him of this when he goes on a rant about how texting is a terrible way to communicate. Haha!

We dated for 10 months. I was madly, desperately in love. The kind of love that only a 16 year old can experience. He consumed my thoughts, as much time as our parents would allow, and he held the entirety of my heart in his hands. And then, right before my 17th birthday, he broke it. At the time I was devastated. My plan was to date through high school. He would go on a mission (a 2 year proselytizing effort for the Mormon church that is part of a man's priesthood duties) and I would swear off other guys, and bide my time until he came home. Then, when he came home we would be married and have 4 children. It all seemed perfect.

Fortunately, Sam had enough wisdom to see that my plan wasn't the wisest. We were so young. Neither of us had ever dated anyone else before. We were too serious for two young kids, and most importantly he needed to prepare for and focus on his mission. He explained these things to me, but I didn't hear them. My heart. was. broken! I was devastated. When I was 14 my dad passed away. I had been closed off to the world until Sam came along. I wouldn't... couldn't let anyone in. When Sam and I started dating, I filled that void I had felt with the love I had for him. And, when he broke up with me, I was left to face the deep, dark abyss... alone. 

Although it was painful, I am grateful in retrospect. I needed that alone time to grieve my dad properly, to move forward, to heal. Furthermore, I needed to be a kid--to date lots of boys, go to dances, social events, and have time with my friends. And Sam needed it too (only, dating girls instead of boys). After some time had passed, Sam and I were able to become friends again. Deep down I still had feelings for him, but I tried really hard to keep it to myself. I later found out that he still had feelings for me too, but felt the need to suppress them for the reasons mentioned above. Our friendship had a few ups and downs (resulting from the feelings that were still present albeit unspoken) but ultimately when he was 19 he left for his mission and we were on decent terms. He was dating someone else at the time of his departure, so I tried my best to write him off as nothing more than a friend. 

...I say "try" because let's face it. He was my first boyfriend, my first real kiss, my first love. I compared every guy that I dated to him. No one ever measured up. He stole my heart when I was 16, and, although I didn't want to admit it at the time, I never really got it back. 

While he was on his mission he started writing me. He even sent me presents and had his mom call me to check in (LDS missionaries are only allowed to write letters, emails sometimes, and they can call their families on Christmas and Mother's Day). I was surprised by his advances, because I had assumed he was taken. I bluntly asked him about the other girl, and he assured me that she wasn't waiting for him--that they had simply agreed to see how things went after the two years. He indicated, however, that he wanted to date me if I was available when he got home. I was as giddy as a school girl, but I tried to suppress these emotions as much as possible. After all, he was the only boy who ever broke my heart--I was still a little wary of this Sam character. 

We continued to write, and as we did so our letters became longer and more meaningful. There is something incredibly romantic about corresponding through the written word. We discussed everything--life, family, religion. He was a missionary--devoting every ounce of energy to the Lord's work. I had just--for the first time in my life--been truly converted to the gospel in the fullest sense. We were both so excited about God and our Savior that it strengthened our affection for each other. I saw Sam in a new light. That smart boy in Sunday School was becoming a wise man, a spiritual giant, a disciple of Jesus Christ. He was becoming the kind of man I hoped to share my life with. At that point I decided that if I didn't end up with Sam, I wanted to find someone just like him. He set the standard, and he set it high. And, throughout our old-fashioned snail mail correspondence our understanding of one another reached new depths. Our love grew to new heights. 

Finally, in May of 2009, he came home. He arrived home on a Wednesday and called me that night. We talked as if we had never been separated. He asked me out that Saturday. I explained to him that I already had plans with another guy. He brazenly told me to cancel my plans and go out with him instead. I did. Saturday night he showed up on the doorstep of my college apartment, with that short missionary hair and new clothes his mom had helped him pick out to assimilate back to civilian life. He smiled, my heart skipped a beat. I knew that I was done for. He had my heart, he always had. 

From this point on (despite a distance of about 40 minutes between us) we spent a lot of time together going on dates, attending church and the temple together, and spending time with each other’s families (it helped that we already knew the families). A few weeks after he came home we kissed for the (second) first time, and it was such a perfect, surreal moment. I teared up. My heart was in his hands, and I needed to know where we stood. Up to this point our relationship had been really open and honest, so I asked him point blank “So… now what?” I explained that I had too much invested in this to not know where we stood. If he wanted to take some time, date other girls, I would totally understand… but I needed to know. He took a moment (which felt like an eternity) then he smiled, and asked “will you be mine?” I, of course, obliged. From that moment on, we were essentially inseparable.

In June we drove to a nearby temple and simply sat outside—admiring its beauty and the symbolism therein. Sam held me close in his arms, and told me that he hoped it wasn't too forward, but that he really felt like he was going to take me there someday to get married. That was the first time the idea of marriage was brought up, and we were both surprisingly calm about the topic. Despite how young we were (I now realize just how young we truly were), it just made sense. In July we decided to take a class together at the LDS institute of religion (a religious college adjacent to the University I attended). As we read through the potential list of classes, I saw that there was a “preparing for an eternal marriage” course offered. I joked that if we took that class together, it would essentially seal the deal. Everyone would expect us to get married. He said, “then let’s do it.” The deal was sealed.

From this point on we were basically engaged, just without the ring and a proper proposal. We knew we were going to end up together. There was no question in my mind that it was the right thing to do. When you know, you know. And I knew. We both did. God had never been so clear about anything in my entire life.

We looked at rings online. I showed him some that I was particularly fond of, but we agreed to go shopping in person. I “accidentally” read an email Sam sent someone about how he wanted to propose to me sometime in August. Afterwards I felt guilty and admitted to him that I had read it. Apparently this prompted him to try and do it on July 31st, because he was decided on the idea of surprising me and I wouldn’t expect it. He bought his favorite of the rings I had expressed interest in when we were browsing online, and proceeded to surprise me.  

The day before he proposed (when he already had the ring mind you) I asked him when we would be able to go ring shopping. He stopped me, and told me that I needed to stop talking about it because he was trying to save up the money but that it would take time. He said he felt bad, and it was hard on him that I kept bringing it up all the time. He laid it on real thick, and I believed him. I was sufficiently sorry, and it was pretty awkward for the rest of the night.

The next day (Friday the 31^st) he asked me to come over and spend time with him. I decided to wear my black dress and glasses (his favorite) as a peace offering for the night before. When I got there, he was particularly affectionate and romantic. I figured he was also trying to make up for the previous night. He surprised me and drove us up to a point on a mountain overlooking the entire valley—the same location of our (second) first kiss and where we had decided to become exclusive. Once we arrived at our destination, he asked me to get out of the car, and had me sit on the hood of his jeep with him. He grabbed his guitar and proceeded to sing me a song that he had written just for me, all about me (it’s called “The Autumn Song”). I thought to myself “wow, he was kind of rude last night but this is a pretty impressive apology!”

After he finished serenading me, I kissed him and jokingly asked him why he didn’t save it. Puzzled, he asked what I meant. I replied, “Why didn’t you save it for the proposal? It would have been perfect.” At this point, he thought perhaps I was onto him and started to worry. He replied “that’s not my style.” Still expecting the proposal to happen sometime in the distant future, I continued, musing “what if I beat you to the punch? What if I got down on one knee right now and asked you to marry me?” He just kind of laughed, wondering if I was alluding to something. Hoping I hand't somehow figured it out.

He changed the subject and told me he had another surprise for me. He slid off the hood, put in a cd mix he had made for the occasion, rolled down the windows, and turned up the music. The song “Realize” by Colbie Caillat started playing. I still didn’t realize what was happening. Sam walked back over to me, extended his hand, and asked me to dance. He helped me off the hood, and as the sun was settling behind the mountains, casting a beautiful tangerine hue, we danced. He held me close. I thought, “Wow. He’s really outdone himself.”

Then, suddenly, he stopped dancing. He cupped my face in his hands, locked his gaze with mine, and began making promises to me. He promised to love me forever, to always be there for me, to honor his priesthood, to be a good husband. I was elated, of course, but it still didn’t dawn on me what was happening. “This is quite the apology” I thought. “A little over the top, but impressive all the same.”

Then, he lowered himself to a kneeling position. I laughed and told him to stop joking around and to get up. It wasn’t until he pulled that little white box out of his back pocket, that I finally realized what was taking place.

He. Was. Proposing!

He asked me to be his, and I said yes. YES! Of course! He slid the ring on my finger, and the rest is kind of a blur. I know there was a lot of crying, hugging, kissing, stolen glances at my ring… but the memory is all just kind of a whirlwind of emotion. Joyous, happy, perfect emotion.

We went back to his parents house where his family was waiting with a camera and ice cream (my favorite) to celebrate. The pictures they took were complete with crying eyes and my red, kissing rash face. I soon learned that Sam's family had been in on it all along. And, so had mine. He had asked my mom for her permission and blessing. Even some of our friends knew it was going to take place. Yet, somehow, I couldn’t figure it out until the very moment a ring appeared. He definitely surprised me.

This night, 5 years ago today, I promised myself to the love of my life. No, the love of my existence. I’m convinced that I had been waiting for Sam, anticipating our love since before I was born. Sam is my destiny. Three months later we were married in the Salt Lake Temple for all time and eternity. He truly is my other half. I am not complete without him.

I thank God every day for guiding me to him.

I owe every good thing in my life to Sam and my decision to marry him.

Sincerely yours,   

Conference Weekend | The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

For some of my newer readers who may not know, I'm a Mormon. This past weekend we had General Conference (hence all the quotes you likely saw flooding Instagram and Pinterest from Mormon bloggers) and I received the boost that I needed. Nobody warned me about the spiritual lull that accompanies having a baby. I go to church, but I'm not really there. I'm focused on trying to keep a baby quiet, still, and happy. This might be an easier task with a less-active child, but Klair is the energizer bunny. She keeps going and going and going... We bring toys, books, treats-- and that usually gets us through the first half... of the first meeting (if we're lucky). After that we end up taking turns walking the halls and make about 8,000 trips to the drinking fountain. She loves that thing, and it's pretty impressive how much water she's capable of drinking from it. 

It used to be easier. Sam and I could trade off taking care of Klair and actually listening to the speakers and lessons. Then, right around the time that she  became mobile, things changed drastically. Sam got a calling to be a primary teacher, which means we can no longer trade off on Klair duty. This means that, if I stay the full 3 hours, I typically end up hanging out in the foyer/hall with an adventurous toddler for 2 of them. I know that we are teaching Klair valuable lessons and instilling within her the importance of church attendance. I've already even seen some of the fruits of our labors in her familiarity with church and how she loves to sing along with the hymns. Nevertheless, going to church is much less uplifting than it used to be.  Listening to the talks and lessons used to revitalize me. It gave me the motivation and direction for the coming week. Having a toddler simply isn't conducive to listening. I'm too busy chasing. I don't get much from the inspirational messages that I grew accustomed to--that I took for granted.

With my toddler-induced religious slump of sorts, General Conference was absolutely heaven-sent. I needed those messages prepared by the general officers and authorities of the church--prepared by the Lord's servants. I needed to hear the words of the Lord through my beloved Prophet, and I feel strengthened because I did. My soul is nourished. I am invigorated. 

Rather than focus on what I'm missing out on, I choose to be grateful now especially during the hard times. Although I might not be able to listen in church as much as I'd like, it's a small price to pay. I think this extends to all of my mommy woes. Is it exhausting at times to be the mother of a toddler? Sure. Is it difficult? Absolutely. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Taking care of Klair is the hardest job I've ever had, but more importantly it's the best, most joyful experience of my life. Chasing after a toddler is a good "problem" to have. 

I also really liked Sister Linda K. Burton--the Relief Society General President's-- talk. She talked about how she and her husband felt overwhelmed as parents of 4 young children. After much prayer they recieved revelation that it's okay for some chores to be undone. It's even okay if there are times when the kids stay in their pajamas. The things that matter most are family prayer, family scripture study, and family home evening. Priorities. They put these first, and everything else fell into place. It's a formula for success, and it's one that Sam and I intend to follow. We aren't nearly as consistent with these things as we should be, so we're recommitting ourselves. Apparently the fact that I can't get as much from church means I need to take a more active role in compensating during my free time. My "attitude of gratitude" and attempts to refocus my attention on things that really matter has caused me to already feel better, stronger, more spiritually nourished.  

Below are few of my other favorite quotes from conference. This list is not all encompassing... there were so many brilliant things said! But here are a few. 

First of all, my always favorite speaker... Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. I love how straightforward he is. His talk this conference on the character of the Savior and the need to "defend your faith" did not disappoint.  

"...It is a characteristic of our age that if people want any gods at all, they want them to be gods who do not demand much, comfortable gods and smooth gods who not only don’t rock the boat but don’t even row it, gods who pat us on the head, make us giggle, then tell us to run along and pick marigolds. Talk about man creating God in his own image! Sometimes — and this seems the greatest irony of all — these folks invoke the name of Jesus as one who was this kind of ‘comfortable’ God. Really? Just as Christ understood and taught, individuals must remember — even though many in the modern culture seem to forget — that there is a crucial difference between the commandment to forgive sin, which Christ had an infinite capacity to do, and the warning against condoning it, which He never ever did even once ...pure Christlike love flowing in true righteousness can change the world."

And of course Uchtdorf's talk on gratitude. Brilliant. 

"How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?"

&

"There are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings" President Dieter F. Uchtdorf 

And a few other favorites: 

"The Gospel is not weight. It is wings!" Sister Jean A. Stevens 

"Today's complexities demand greater simplicity" Edler L. Tom Perry

"The unique burdens in each of our lives helps us rely upon the merits, mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah." Elder David A. Bednar 

Then of course our beloved Prophet/president of the church. I really appreciated how, of all the topics he could have chosen, he spoke on our need to be kind and loving. Our world definitely needs more love and light, and he is such a great example of this. 

"As we arise each morning, let us determine to respond with more love and kindness to whatever might come our way" President Thomas S. Monson

Overall, I am grateful for the opportunity I had to listen to the words of the Lord through his chosen Prophet, apostles, and leaders. I feel that my testimony has been strengthened and my conviction renewed. The Gospel--the good news of Christ-- is true. It brings me joy and peace.

*The images in this post came from my friend and designer, Kaylie Marie
**I tried to provide links to some of the topics that people might not be familiar with. If I missed something and you're curious what in the world I'm talking about, feel free to ask either in comment or email.  

What are some of your favorite quotes from General Conference? 
Or, what are some good spiritual or otherwise uplifting words that have inspired you lately? 

Fall fashion . Anniversary Update

After raving about my amazing husband in this post last week for our anniversary, I realized today that I never talked about what we did to celebrate. How ungrateful would I be if I didn't brag about what my sweetie did for me?

First of all, a few days before the actual anniversary he surprised me 

and took me shopping for a new pair of boots... 

                      

He knows me too well. If there is one thing that I love, it's fall fashion. Boots, jackets, sweaters, scarves... I adore everything about clothing for this season. If I could dress this way year round, I would. In fact... I have been known to wear boots and scarves in the summer (and suffer the consequences... fashion before comfort, right?)

Speaking of jackets and sweaters... That's what he surprised me with next. After we got my new boots I figured that they were my present because they were more than enough. But, on the morning of our anniversary, I surprised him with breakfast in bed and some music equipment he has been wanting, and I got clothing in bed. (I love breakfast food, but I'm thinking this is way better.) He surprised me with pajamas, and this new jacket and sweater:

Then, all dressed up in my new attire, we went out on the town. He took the day off of work and we spent time with our daughter, grabbing Chinese food for dinner.  Klair loved the sticky white rice :)

After Klair went to sleep we got a babysitter and headed out to the movies. I had been hoping to plan some kind of a getaway to celebrate, but Klair has been going through an extremely needy phase. I recently left her with Sam one night and he told me that he's never heard her cry so hard.  She refused to take a bottle (I'm still breastfeeding her) and she refused to go to sleep for him until she unwillingly fell asleep--exhausted from her fit. She adores her dada, but apparently when it comes to bed time she just wants me. With this in mind neither of us felt it would be a wise time to try out our first night away since she was born. It wouldn't be fun for her, and it especially wouldn't be very fun for her babysitter. Thus, we decided to take a rain check on the getaway idea and settled on a night out at the movies, hot chocolate, and a nice scenic drive. We saw The Saratov Approach. We had been meaning to see this movie for awhile, and it didn't disappoint. In fact, I loved it.

Overall, our anniversary was a simple, lovely day with our little family. 

It was a great way to celebrate our marriage. 

Four Years Down, Eternity to Go...

Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of the day I married this hunk.

He is the love of my life. Cliche? Maybe. True? Absolutely! I try to be the type of person that recognizes blessings and expresses gratitude. Yet, inevitably I find myself caught up in the ups, downs, and in-betweens of life and  I end up taking Sam for granted. Thus, I am thankful for times like these which cause me to reflect and realize what I have.  It's pretty humbling.

First off, he is kind. Now I know this may seem like a pretty simple, maybe even trivial compliment to pay a person. What good qualities does he have? Well, he's... kind! That's not the case for Sam. His kindness, his goodness-- it is all encompassing of his personality. It is the central tenet of who he is. Furthermore, one might wonder why I would choose to highlight this quality first. After all kindness isn't very "manly" by the world's standards. Why not focus on how strong he is?

His kindness is his strength. 

His goodness is a light that shines so brightly that a person could deny it as readily as the night can deny the rising sun. He is the kind of kind that complete strangers recognize, garnering their immediate trust and admiration. He possesses genuine charity--the pure love of Christ-- and this quality (a lifelong aspiration for many) flows so freely from Sam. He makes it look easy. He genuinely loves people, and they love him back.

He is steadfast and true. In a culture where faith is becoming increasingly taboo and deemed antiquated, my husband is valiant in his beliefs. He doesn't stand on the corner or shout from the rooftops in grand gestures. Instead, it is in his small, simple acts that his faith is made evident. He goes to church every Sunday. He accepts and takes pride in whatever service is asked of him--such as getting up early to help shovel snow at the church, or staying up late to prepare lessons for his 9 year old primary class. He is a worthy priesthood holder who constantly blesses his family, and takes advantage of any and all opportunities to serve those around him. He takes time to lead his family in prayer everyday. And, when someone asks him about his beliefs or the occasion arises to discuss them, he eagerly seizes the opportunity to speak of his love for Christ and his gospel.

He is hard-working. He rises early every morning and goes to work to provide for this family, and he faithfully comes home every night to us. (And, when he comes home he skips the couch and spends every moment he can playing with Klair until she goes to bed). He works long hours (sometimes forgoing sleep altogether) and travels to the far corners of the world to give us a roof over our head, food on the table, and so much more. He enables me to stay home with Klair--a priceless gift and privilege that has brought me more happiness than I know what to do with.

He is fun. He makes me laugh. He makes Klair laugh. He even laughs at my jokes! We really get each other. He is my best friend in the world and I enjoy sharing life with him. The most beautiful destinations in the world would seem dull without him by my side.

His an incredible father. Or should I say "Da da?" He loves that little girl more than life, and she adores him. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. How about two?

  

I could go on forever talking about his qualities. To sum it all up, he is the best man I have ever known. I don't deserve to have such an amazing, selfless man by my side. He is my light, my life, and my champion. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I owe every good thing in my life to the decision I made to marry him.

Sometimes when I think of God He seems so distant, so incomprehensible... and I find myself wondering what He is really like. In times like these I immediately think of Sam and the love he shows me. And, suddenly, God doesn't seem so mysterious anymore.

"The closer I come to you, the closer I am to finding God. You're a miracle to me."
                                                                                                                             -Anberlin