The Best 5 Years

5 years ago today was one of the most beautiful, spiritual, and incredible days of my life. I was married to my husband for all of time and for the vast, incomprehensible span of eternity in the Salt Lake Temple. My best friend became my husband, and on that day we promised to devote our lives and very existence to one another. Thank the heavens I chose so well. Literally, I thank God every day. I know he led me to Sam, and this love has been the best gift I've ever received.

Although our wedding day was special--surreal and sweet in every sense of the word, I'm not sure I understood the implications of what was taking place. Star-eyed and twitter-pated beyond belief I couldn't foresee the true meaning of two people promising complete loyalty and fidelity to one another before God himself. I'm sure I still don't, because the promises made and blessings to come are beyond my capacity to understand--but I've learned a thing or two about marriage in the past half decade. It can be hard. Well, loving Sam is easy, but life gets hard. It's often messy and complicated and can be a huge distraction when you allow it to be-- currents pulling you apart, sometimes subtly drifting and other times more forcefully dragging. In times like these it takes extra effort to reunite, but it's always worth it. Coming together, finding each other again and again--it's always exactly what we need. He is my strength, and my light.

Take today for instance. I always imagined that our 5th anniversary would include romantic gestures of the common variety: flowers, a date night, long and loving gazes across a candlelit table... yet, I find myself in my pajamas. We just got home from our Disneyland trip and we're all sick. It's not exactly what I would plan for an occasion such as this, but I'm okay with it. Instead of flowers, our romantic gestures include taking turns caring for each other and our daughter. Right now Sam is cuddled up with Klair, and our long, loving gazes are replaced with an occasional glance and reassuring smile. We can celebrate later. Right now, we're in survival mode--but we're in it together, and that's more wonderful than any flower. In the past five years we've been up and down, sideways and completely turned over at times on this roller coaster, but through it all we've been side by side.

FIVE years. It's a pretty significant amount of my life so far--1/5 to be exact. 2 tiny apartments, 1 ancient rental, 2 beautiful houses, too many college courses to count, 2 pets, several jobs, 1 perfect daughter and a son on the way-- we have been blessed beyond belief. Yet, our time spent thus far is nothing more than a tiny blip on the spectrum of eternity. We literally have forever together. And while the thought makes my brain hurt if I think about it too long, it's a comfort to know that I will always have Sam by my side. Come what may, I know he is mine and I am his. And, we are both God's. This knowledge is enough to help me weather any storm. It gives a deeper meaning and heightened appreciation for most beautiful moments past, present, and yet to come.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Samuel, you are the love of my existence. I thank God daily for the love that we have. I owe every good thing in my life to the decision I made to marry you!

Although I'm not happy about the sickness ravaging our household, I honestly have no room for anything but gratitude in my heart today. I am blessed beyond belief.

Seriously. As I was looking through photos trying to find a good one of the two of us, I found this gem. What guy does a green face mask with his wife and then agrees to a silly-faced selfie to post on Facebook?  A very special one indeed.

Fall fashion . Anniversary Update

After raving about my amazing husband in this post last week for our anniversary, I realized today that I never talked about what we did to celebrate. How ungrateful would I be if I didn't brag about what my sweetie did for me?

First of all, a few days before the actual anniversary he surprised me 

and took me shopping for a new pair of boots... 

                      

He knows me too well. If there is one thing that I love, it's fall fashion. Boots, jackets, sweaters, scarves... I adore everything about clothing for this season. If I could dress this way year round, I would. In fact... I have been known to wear boots and scarves in the summer (and suffer the consequences... fashion before comfort, right?)

Speaking of jackets and sweaters... That's what he surprised me with next. After we got my new boots I figured that they were my present because they were more than enough. But, on the morning of our anniversary, I surprised him with breakfast in bed and some music equipment he has been wanting, and I got clothing in bed. (I love breakfast food, but I'm thinking this is way better.) He surprised me with pajamas, and this new jacket and sweater:

Then, all dressed up in my new attire, we went out on the town. He took the day off of work and we spent time with our daughter, grabbing Chinese food for dinner.  Klair loved the sticky white rice :)

After Klair went to sleep we got a babysitter and headed out to the movies. I had been hoping to plan some kind of a getaway to celebrate, but Klair has been going through an extremely needy phase. I recently left her with Sam one night and he told me that he's never heard her cry so hard.  She refused to take a bottle (I'm still breastfeeding her) and she refused to go to sleep for him until she unwillingly fell asleep--exhausted from her fit. She adores her dada, but apparently when it comes to bed time she just wants me. With this in mind neither of us felt it would be a wise time to try out our first night away since she was born. It wouldn't be fun for her, and it especially wouldn't be very fun for her babysitter. Thus, we decided to take a rain check on the getaway idea and settled on a night out at the movies, hot chocolate, and a nice scenic drive. We saw The Saratov Approach. We had been meaning to see this movie for awhile, and it didn't disappoint. In fact, I loved it.

Overall, our anniversary was a simple, lovely day with our little family. 

It was a great way to celebrate our marriage. 

Four Years Down, Eternity to Go...

Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of the day I married this hunk.

He is the love of my life. Cliche? Maybe. True? Absolutely! I try to be the type of person that recognizes blessings and expresses gratitude. Yet, inevitably I find myself caught up in the ups, downs, and in-betweens of life and  I end up taking Sam for granted. Thus, I am thankful for times like these which cause me to reflect and realize what I have.  It's pretty humbling.

First off, he is kind. Now I know this may seem like a pretty simple, maybe even trivial compliment to pay a person. What good qualities does he have? Well, he's... kind! That's not the case for Sam. His kindness, his goodness-- it is all encompassing of his personality. It is the central tenet of who he is. Furthermore, one might wonder why I would choose to highlight this quality first. After all kindness isn't very "manly" by the world's standards. Why not focus on how strong he is?

His kindness is his strength. 

His goodness is a light that shines so brightly that a person could deny it as readily as the night can deny the rising sun. He is the kind of kind that complete strangers recognize, garnering their immediate trust and admiration. He possesses genuine charity--the pure love of Christ-- and this quality (a lifelong aspiration for many) flows so freely from Sam. He makes it look easy. He genuinely loves people, and they love him back.

He is steadfast and true. In a culture where faith is becoming increasingly taboo and deemed antiquated, my husband is valiant in his beliefs. He doesn't stand on the corner or shout from the rooftops in grand gestures. Instead, it is in his small, simple acts that his faith is made evident. He goes to church every Sunday. He accepts and takes pride in whatever service is asked of him--such as getting up early to help shovel snow at the church, or staying up late to prepare lessons for his 9 year old primary class. He is a worthy priesthood holder who constantly blesses his family, and takes advantage of any and all opportunities to serve those around him. He takes time to lead his family in prayer everyday. And, when someone asks him about his beliefs or the occasion arises to discuss them, he eagerly seizes the opportunity to speak of his love for Christ and his gospel.

He is hard-working. He rises early every morning and goes to work to provide for this family, and he faithfully comes home every night to us. (And, when he comes home he skips the couch and spends every moment he can playing with Klair until she goes to bed). He works long hours (sometimes forgoing sleep altogether) and travels to the far corners of the world to give us a roof over our head, food on the table, and so much more. He enables me to stay home with Klair--a priceless gift and privilege that has brought me more happiness than I know what to do with.

He is fun. He makes me laugh. He makes Klair laugh. He even laughs at my jokes! We really get each other. He is my best friend in the world and I enjoy sharing life with him. The most beautiful destinations in the world would seem dull without him by my side.

His an incredible father. Or should I say "Da da?" He loves that little girl more than life, and she adores him. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. How about two?

  

I could go on forever talking about his qualities. To sum it all up, he is the best man I have ever known. I don't deserve to have such an amazing, selfless man by my side. He is my light, my life, and my champion. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I owe every good thing in my life to the decision I made to marry him.

Sometimes when I think of God He seems so distant, so incomprehensible... and I find myself wondering what He is really like. In times like these I immediately think of Sam and the love he shows me. And, suddenly, God doesn't seem so mysterious anymore.

"The closer I come to you, the closer I am to finding God. You're a miracle to me."
                                                                                                                             -Anberlin